No more business meetings: Let’s just have a chat

I firmly believe that most of us know what is bothering us. And if we want to do something about it, we just need the time to work out what to do. We also need the space to think things through. But more often than not, we also want to be heard.

It can be hard to find the courage, the words, the moment to speak. How often have you been cut off in a conversation or interrupted when you are just about to share something you have not vocalised before or you want to get it off your chest? It’s frustrating when that happens. And yet it does happen. Often.

The power of a good chat is about just that, a good chat. Dialogue. Sharing stuff with a friend or even sometimes a stranger. It can be so beneficial. Laughing helps too.

On the flip side, it is also important to listen and to observe what you see in someone’s body language. You often learn so much more by not saying anything at all and just being aware and being present for someone else.

There are of course those who just like to do all the talking (it’s in their nature). If you are someone who tends to dominate a conversation, try to remember that it’s not a monologue. The other person or people may want to talk too. So make sure to ask an open question or two and then listen to the response without jumping in. It’ll take practice, but you’ll reap the rewards. And you never know – that moment of silence might be the light bulb moment the person you’re listening to needs…..or it may just help you.

Conversations are a way for us to get closer to each other and to better understand what others are really about. They connect us – we learn about each other and from each other. Whether we’re opening up or being there to listen, it is an opportunity to bond. And this is not just true of personal relationships.

In business too, a good chat is invaluable. I am a big believer in the benefits of just having a regular conversation with a client, colleague or contact. Some people tell me that they get nervous about these situations because they suddenly get labelled as ‘business meetings’. But why should we see these differently to a chat with someone in a non-work capacity?

Often in business, we set out ‘key objectives’ and ‘outcomes’ for a call or meeting. This ruins things. It takes away the opportunity for a more natural flow. If we just call or meet for a catch up, we will invariably learn something about that person and make a connection without even trying.

We may not have ticked off KPIs (thank goodness!) but we give ourselves the chance to gain something much more powerful. It could be the start of a more meaningful relationship – we might discover a shared interest or hobby; that we know the same person unexpectedly; that we’ve travelled to the same places or love the same restaurant or we maybe have the knowledge to really help them out in a non-work related issue. Whatever it is, it’s about starting something that will last longer and be more fruitful (personally and business wise) than any official ‘new business meeting’.

So, next time you’re looking to connect with a client, maybe try reframing a ‘meeting’ as a ‘catch up’, free from any specific objectives. It is a bit counter cultural. It goes against what business gurus say. But why not see where it takes you…..and if it works for you once, it may work for you again. And again.